25.000 ---> Taxi.4.2007.R5DVD.XviD.AC3.iNT-HOHO.CD1.avi <---
TAXI 4
Alright.
Are we finally leaving?
A suspect has been located in the hotel.
But don't worry Mr. Martinez, your client is perfectly safe.
I've assigned my best people to the operation.
Gibert calling Alan.
You've reached the police. Please wait on the line.
I've located the suspect.
Distance... About 15 meters.
- Join me. - Right away, boss.
Concentrate, Alan.
Do you see the suspect, at 11 o'clock?
No, "at 11 o'clock" is a term used in the navy.
You've been in Marseille for 10 years and I bet you haven't seen the sea.
Actually I have, when making my rounds at the port.
Fine.
At 12 o'clock is straight ahead and at 11 o'clock is this way.
Straight and to the left.
Ah yes, indeed.
Are you sure this is the suspect? I think it's rather a hotel maid.
But of course.
Do you think a terrorist moves around yelling
and wearing an explosive belt?
- No. - Exactly.
They disguise themselves.
And is there a better disguise than a hotel maid pushing a cart?
- I'm asking you. - Sure.
Especially in a hotel.
Do you hear the song that rat is humming
to give himself courage?
Ah yes. Is that Spanish?
That's a revolutionary song, my little Alan.
On my command neutralize the Basque.
Roger that.
At 12 o'clock!
And we're done!
Let that nightingale sing.
Put him in a cage. I'll question him later.
Go!
Gibert, how's it going?
Mr. Prefect, I've just neutralized the Spanish terrorist.
He was transporting a set of little bottles.
Most likely toxic substances
he was going to spread.
I'll have it tested.
Excellent, Gibert.
And now take care of our client,
because we can't allow ourselves to be late.
Consider it done, Mr. Prefect.
Emilien, the coast is clear. You can deliver the package.
Emilien?
Emilien, answer right away!
I'm practically standing in the exit door.
We can't do this while I'm on a special mission.
It's not my fault.
You look so handsome when you're on a special mission.
You look like Sean Connery and you turn me on.
Sean Connery...
Please, don't make fun of me.
You enjoy this because you're stronger.
Alright, you can tie me up next time.
Not so loud. The hotel is bugged.
Yes sir, inspector.
I'll take care of the package, and you find Gibert.
I love you, Emilien.
I love you too, Petra. But this isn't the time.
See you at home tonight.
Mr. Cissé?
Mr. Cissé, we need to end the interview, to be on the pitch in 20 minutes.
I'm sorry to disturb you but I'm from the police and...
What's your name?
Emilien.
No, this isn't about... This is about...
Emilien!
This isn't the time to exchange business cards.
Where is that...
What a name. Damn foreigner.
That's Djibril Cissé, sir.
Excuse me?
Don't get wise with me or I'll check your papers and have you deported.
Emilien, look.
They don't look alike.
The nose, the teeth.
But it's certainly him, I assure you.
Not so fast, Emilien.
I know about deception.
I worked for 2 years in customs, so I saw plenty of impostors.
For example that Korean subsidiary in 82. I smoked them out.
- But he's not Korean. - How can you be sure?
I checked his papers.
- His eyes are a bit slanted. - That's because he's tired.
We have to go or the Prefect will grow impatient.
Yes.
Head to the car!
I don't know what you did to them, but you aren't popular here.
Don't worry. He doesn't know anything about soccer.
His passion is fishing.
What are you mumbling, Emilien?
I just said that your passion is fishing.
Fishing is a real sport.
Do you ever fill a fishing net?
No, my job is to put the ball in the goal net.
That's good. Because fishing isn't for amateurs.
For example consider float fishing, on the lakeside.
Sometimes you have to stand motionless for 8 hours
observing the float.
And then...
What's going on?
Are you OK? Break anything?
No. I'm fine.
Couldn't you have turned on the signal?
We were told Mr. Cissé is having a siesta at the hotel,
so we avoided waking him.
He's not having a siesta.
He's in my car and he's being transferred.
Djibril Cissé is being transferred? He'll play for Marseille?
It's Cissé.
Do something or we'll be late.
Don't worry.
I know someone who'll get us out of here.
You have taxis in the police?
No, he rather belongs to the Air Force.
Marseille Express at your service.
Daniel, no time for jokes.
Mr. Cissé has to be at the Vélodrome in 10 minutes.
Mr. Djibril.
Nice to have you. Will you be playing in Marseille?
I'm taking part in a charity match and I'm going to be late.
Since it's for a good cause.
I'll change clothes in the car, to gain some time.
You can always try.
Mom, you'll never believe who's going to play for Marseille.
That's not the right way. We're leaving Marseille.
We'll go around to avoid the traffic jams.
I assure you, Djibril Cissé, no. 9, playing for Olympique de Marseille.
Now this is a road.
Real driving.
We can't hear the engine.
At this speed all we hear is the wind.
This just in.
Olympique de Marseille has acquired an exceptional player, Djibril Cissé.
A speeding white taxi will be there in 1 minute.
Roger that.
It must be our little Daniel.
At his speed we have no chance.
- Shall we send the new guy? - Damn. Are you kidding?
What's wrong? He's new, let him learn.
Hey, new guy?
Yes, boss?
Stand next to the radar
and set it to "extra sensitive".
- Alright? - Yes, sir.
Attention, here comes the TGV train.
Step away from the platform.
Thanks, kid.
You did well.
The measurement is more effective on "extra sensitive".
Your taxi is quite fast.
I have my tricks.
I recovered some parts from the Concorde, when it was scrapped.
Slow down, I don't want to miss the exit.
I've just received confirmation.
The Marseille club has made the transfer of the year for 60 million euro.
All the spots are full.
Drive to the underground parking. I know it like my pocket.
I'm not sure why, but I worry when you say that.
Djibril Cissé's arrival to Olympique de Marseille
is fueling rumors and insane amounts of money are being mentioned.
To find out more,
we'll go live to our reporter at the Vélodrome stadium.
I'm coming to you live from Marseille for this friendly match
being played for the Association of Sick Children.
And maybe that's why the players have demanded insane amounts,
since there is talk of a contract worth 200 million euro.
We'll invite him to the microphone of TF1,
but until now the star has failed to arrive.
Cissé or not, if he's not here in a minute, I'm starting the match.
Try taking a right here.
Emilien, we've taken a right here twice already.
Are you sure you know it like your pocket?
Yes. I was responsible for security during the pope's visit.
We spent 6 days here looking for Gibert, who got lost.
That sounds promising.
I don't know the parking, but I'll trust my intuition.
We're starting.
7 minutes and 32 seconds.
Thanks for the ride.
Thanks for the show.
We have a better view here than on TV.
But you're in the middle of the pitch.
Take a seat in the stands or it's a yellow card.
Of course, Mr. referee.
What an idiot.
- Foul. - He's on crutches.
- Free kick. - What's his problem?
Warm up and stretch your legs. I don't want any injuries during play.
Do you like the shirt?
Yes, but it's too big.
You'll ask mom to wash it.
It'll shrink and be the right size.
The logo will come off.
I'll ask mom to wash around the logo.
Listen to me.
I'd like to see you play longer than 3 minutes,
so no red card, OK?
OK.
Go.
The first rule is that you never touch the ball, OK?
OK.
And if someone passes you the ball, kick it right away.
Which way?
Don't worry about that. Kick it and let the others worry.
Could I finally get to play soccer?
Daddy will play with you later.
Go, my son.
Go.
And don't run too fast.
Are you sure he won't catch a cold?
Don't worry.
I gave him a heated shirt and plenty of vitamin C this morning.
Then he's really in no danger.
You should have signed him up for hockey, to amortize the equipment.
Are you nuts? That's too dangerous.
His mother wanted him to take up karate.
But luckily I have the file of the club manager.
He accepted to refuse him, without Petra knowing.
Emilien, he'll be at risk his whole life.
So he better get used to it.
Yes, but that can wait.
What about swimming?
No.
His bronchi are too frail. It's hereditary.
And you never broke anything when you were little?
Yes, my arm. 3 times.
See.
But that didn't make me any smarter
or get me a place at the police academy.
Maybe you'd have been better off breaking a leg.
Very good, my son!
Who will our kids grow up to be?
What?
Do you think mine will be a cab driver, and yours a cop?
Why not?
That's nothing bad.
We both help others. That's beautiful in itself.
It could be worse. It could be the exact opposite.
Mine a cab driver, and yours a cop.
Don't mention such misfortune.
Emilien, yes?
Emilien?
What urgent matter?
Gibert told you that? But I'm not working today.
Emilien?
Are you alright Maxim?
No, that's not possible.
Emilien, you'd better...
Alright. I'm coming.
Daniel, Gibert is summoning everyone for an urgent matter.
Can you take care of Maxim? Petra is on a secret mission.
I can't call her. And my mother is on a pilgrimage to Lourdes.
To Lourdes?
She goes there every year since my birth.
Such a miracle must be celebrated.
- Take my stuff to the station after the game. - No problem.
Just don't take them to the port for sweets.
Sure.
They'll get a slice of bread, a cup of water and go to bed.
I'm kidding.
Go.
I'll take care of him like my own.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Emilien, your son visits me every Wednesday.
And he's never complained. He never returns with warts on his face.
No.
So get moving and go to work.
OK.
4 minutes and 30 seconds without a card is your record.
But I didn't do anything.
That referee gives out cards to every promising player.
Go get Maxim. I'll take you to the port.
Come on Max, we're going to the port.
Stop that ball this instant!
I got it, boss.
Bring me that ball.
It won't piss me off anymore.
Here kids. You can play on.
Alright, gentlemen...
This isn't the time for dribbling, footwork or any other soccer nonsense.
I've talked on the phone with Paris.
They're sending us a very special package.
It's this year's biggest transfer.
Drogba?
Thuram?
No, I know. Makelele?
Beckenbauer?
Maradona?
You're a real bunch of morons.
I'm not talking about tennis.
I'm talking about a criminal.
Tapie?
This one is even more famous.
According to his file, he's public enemy no. 1.
It's...
Boss...
That's yesterday's transfer.
So where's my paper?
It's written on the back. You asked us to save paper.
Yes, that's true.
That was my wife's idea.
She saw a TV show about the destruction of the Amazon forests.
Do you know how many acres of forest are destroyed each day?
- 3? 6? - I don't know.
How many?
If you knew, it would make you shudder.
How many?
It's millions of matchboxes being cut down and going up in flames.
So... When the opportunity presents itself...
Respect your papers.
Respect the paper. Economize.
Boss, and that public enemy no. 1?
Yes...
He's a Belgian,
whose name I won't pronounce because it makes me feel sick.
53 armed robberies.
Accomplice to 122 murders.
There hasn't been anyone worse since Al Capone.
He's being transferred to Congo,
where he'll be tried in 10 criminal cases.
Transit in Marseille.
We take care of him from the time of his arrival until 5 a.m. tomorrow.
And we put him on a plane of the Congo authorities.
This Belgian won't have the time to tour the city.
Surveillance must be ultra tight.
One police officer per square inch.
I want so many officers around him, so that he can't see the sea.
Do you understand?
Yes, boss!
At what time is that monster of the Ardennes flying in?
Good question, Emilien.
At exactly 3 p.m.
Boss, it's already 3:05.
It's 12:05 on mine.
Head to the cars!
Maxim, is this what you ordered?
So why aren't you eating?
Because my dad says that such a cake only gets you stains all over.
You'll show your dad that's not the case and you won't stain yourself.
Damn, your father.
Leo, hide under the table.
What's this in the middle of the street?
Get out of the way. Police.
She's caught a flat tire.
I can't leave her alone in this heat.
He's right, boss.
She'll dehydrate.
We need to help her.
I'm a certified life guard. I'll help her.
I was a florist before being a cop.
Nobody move!
Isn't he ashamed? He should be behind bars.
How much time does it take to change a tire?
It doesn't take 3 hours.
Around here we take our time.
Thank you.
Finally.
Go.
Is the cake good at least?
- Mr. General. - Gibert, explain yourself.
I'm sorry for being late.
We took a shortcut thru the port, but caught a flat tire.
Does it take an hour to change a tire?
It now takes the police a whole week.
The training of recruits is getting worse.
They learn to shoot on day 1.
But between you and me, we change tires more often than we shoot.
Do you have the same problem in the army?
No. We have caterpillars.
Caterpillars. Very good.
They go everywhere.
That's funny. This reminds me of my vacation in Africa.
They had the same cages and we slept in them,
to protect ourselves from the wild animals.
This animal is of the worst kind, Gibert.
If it escapes,
it will burn down the city and kill everyone before you change a tire.
Don't worry, Mr. General.
We're used to such characters in Marseille.
One day they're limping on one leg,
and the next they're healthy and playing soccer.
Load him up.
And we're done.
Gibert, be careful with this package. Your career depends on it.
Don't worry, Mr. General.
Consider it done.
Let's sync our watches.
- 4:20. - 12:05. Perfect.
We'll be in touch every 2 hours.
Forward!
Hello, this is Gibert.
Mr. General.
Already?
Yes, already.
You've been gone 30 seconds, and already you've made a blunder.
How so?
Look in the mirror.
A price tag.
Of course. Now I see better.
Thank you, Mr. General.
Gibert, I meant the exterior mirror.
Now look to your right.
Holy crap!
Stop the cars!
- Are you sure this is the place? - I'm 100% sure.
Alright, this is what we'll do.
You'll stay in the car. I'll be better off on my own.
And if... And I emphasize the "if".
If I'm not back in 30 minutes, come and get me.
OK, fine.
What?
Call me before you let him out.
It'll be safer that way.
No problem.
Damn. What a throw.
COMMISSIONAIRE GIBERT
OK.
Get to work, Serge.
Hi, Daniel.
I found this a mile down the road. Does it belong to you?
Damn, I knew it had rolled off somewhere.
Thanks.
- Hi, kids. - They're growing up fast.
Hi, Maxim. We know each other.
Luckily he doesn't look like his dad.
OK, let's go.
Emilien hasn't returned yet.
No problem. I'll put them in front of the computer.
Does your dad have anything against video games?
Now you have something to do.
I'll be gone 5 minutes. I'll make a call.
Be good.
Is someone else using it?
No, they simply gave my dad the worst computer.
You can barely send an e-mail.
- And Gibert's computer? - It's an atom bomb.
SYSTEM ERROR
What's this mess?
Nothing works.
Why don't they make the newer models more user-friendly?
Yes?
We want to use the computer.
The computer's already in use.
Why don't you go to another office?
Because this computer is the latest generation Extreme Core.
SYSTEM ERROR
Do you know how to use this machine?
Kids' play.
Hi, Marley.
Hi.
Got anything for a dry throat?
It's the end of the season and I have little left.
Look in the closet.
HOLLAND. MOROCCO.
COLUMBIA.
Indeed.
Should I roll 2?
Yeah, maybe I'll finally wake up.
Here.
Thanks, but I never smoke while on the job. I'll smoke it at home.
That's funny.
Here it's the other way around. We smoke at work but never at home.
Damn, it's Gibert.
Damn, the car...
OK, Alan...
Put the animal in the big office.
- Should I get him out of the cage? - Of course not.
Must I remind you that this animal is extremely dangerous?
I know. But this cage is extremely big.
Don't question my orders.
Execute.
To all units.
The wolf is entering the sheep house.
Damn, it's Gibert. Get rid of it.
Wait, Marley. Come here.
Yes, Commissionaire?
Have you been smoking?
No. I assure you.
Don't tell me stories.
I have an acute sense of smell, my little Marley.
Last winter I had a 3-month workshop with rescue dogs.
I sniffed a lot of snow.
I don't doubt it.
At the end of the workshop I could smell drugs from a mile away.
Unreal...
Yes.
OK, I'll let you go this time. But it better not happen again.
Type the password.
I type the password.
Upload the picture.
I upload the picture.
First you click the picture you don't want.
First I click the picture I don't want.
And you click the picture you want to keep.
Thanks a lot, boys.
Without you I never would have managed.
You deserve a little something.
A ticket. Here you go.
Put it away. It's our little secret.
What are you doing here, kids?
I've told you not to touch my computer.
Go.
And what are you doing here?
I'm...
You're the new IT trainer?
That's right.
I'm sorry. It slipped my mind.
The help of a trainer is a must in case of these machines.
I'm rather talented when it comes to electronics.
But I must admit that I'm having a hard time.
OK, let's have a lesson today.
I had a hard day and I feel my head is going to explode.
Excuse me... But you're smoking.
No, I stopped smoking 3 weeks ago.
I generally have a strong will but this time I got a patch.
- See? - It suits you.
But I meant you have smoke coming out your head.
Yes, indeed.
- May I? - Be my guest.
Where did this come from?
This is from Morocco.
Put it out please. This is a non-smoking office.
I'm sorry.
OK, can we start the lesson? I have also other things to do.
Of course. Where did you finish last lesson?
At adjusting the chair.
Grab the mouse.
One eye on the monitor, and the other on the keyboard.
This won't be easy.
Are you sure this is for kids under 6?
Dad, this game is super soft.
We haven't played it for years.
Daniel...
You'll never imagine what a difficult case I've been given.
It's widely known I have no imagination.
They've sent us an important client. A very important client.
- That is? - He's wanted by every police in Europe.
And they sent him here?
That's good. He can play some boules.
He won't have time.
Tomorrow at 5 a.m. we'll put him on a plane to Congo.
If he doesn't escape in the meantime.
I don't want to make fun of you, but this isn't a police station.
It's an amusement center.
Exactly, Daniel.
Gibert has summoned everyone and I have to do overtime.
I've called Petra but she doesn't answer.
She's still on that damn secret mission.
So I'm left with the kid and...
You'd like your friend Daniel to take care of him.
For 2 or 3 hours until I'm off duty.
I'll pick him up after duty.
- Sugar? - Yes.
When will I get to work? I've been with the kids since this morning.
Your wife can't take of them?
She's in Paris at a redecorating exposition.
She redecorates?
She only redecorates garages.
She's decided to redecorate our garage.
- What a mess... - That's right.
Even the taxi has to stand outside.
Can you imagine?
- That's rough. - Right.
But come to think of it...
It's better for the taxi to stand outside.
She's putting flowers everywhere.
The flower pollen is damaging everything.
I spend the weekends cleaning everything with cotton swabs.
When living with someone you need to learn to compromise.
And what compromises have you arrived at with Petra?
A whole bunch.
For example?
For example, my personal things.
When I was single my things were a mess.
And when Petra saw a shirt lying around she'd throw it out the window.
- Your boxers too? - Everything, I'm telling you.
What did you do? Did you learn to clean up?
Exactly. And I bought a fishing rod.
I don't have to go down 3 floors to get my stuff.
When do you want to pick up your kid?
I'll be off duty in 2 hours.
OK. Go for 2 hours.
You're a real pal, Daniel.
Yeah, I know.
Tell me.
Since it'll be the 4 of us without the wives,
how about some pizza and TV at my garage?
Before the shop closes.
Sold.
Tell me.
What will you do with them during those 2 hours?
I have an idea.
Grandpa!
Kids!
It's so nice to see you.
You were supposed to come on Sunday.
I know, but we were going to the movies and they saw your house,
and started to scream wanting to see you.
Yes, grandpa. I missed you so much.
I want to stay with Leo.
My sweet angels.
I'm here. Grandpa is here.
Don't worry.
They're so sensitive.
Their mothers are out of town.
They act like tough guys,
but in fact they're soft-hearted.
Can I keep them for a couple of hours?
So that they can calm down.
But not more than 2 hours, Mr. General.
They have homework to do.
2 hours.
Starting now.
He's been gone an hour. Shall we go get him?
We'll wait another 5 minutes and then we'll go.
Up.
That's it.
And now down. Faster.
Faster...
Up.
See. It's not so hard.
The most important is to keep a steady pace.
Boss!
Alan, you made me lose.
How many points did I score?
8.
Not bad for a first time.
What's the record?
The record is...
20 million, 653 thousand.
- May I? - Be my guest.
Hello?
It's me. Shall we come and get you?
No, there's no need. I'm done here.
I'll be there soon.
OK, fine.
And?
He's fine.
Excuse me, but I have to go.
Already?
Another client is waiting for me.
Next month at the same hour.
With great pleasure.
Alan, what did you do? Are you completely nuts?
You gave an order to put him in the big office.
And orders shouldn't be questioned.
That's true. You did well, my little Alan.
Take off the cover. He won't stand here all dressed up.
He's impressive.
Is he really that dangerous?
He's even worse.
He can slit a sheep's throat with his ears.
Don't be afraid, my little Emilien.
I spent 5 years in Equatorial Guyana, eating fried spiders
and counting hippos for UNESCO.
So I won't be scared of some Belgian, believe me.
We'll start with a routine interrogation. That'll calm him down.
Alan, get me the papers.
Go ahead, Alan.
First and last name!
So? How'd it go?
The place is a nuthouse, I swear.
It gives me the creeps.
Come on, go.
You want to play the wise guy?
Alan, the Bouches-du-Rhône department.
- Bouches-du-Rhône? - Yes, Bouches-du-Rhône.
Sure, boss.
You'll see.
Will you answer?
Stay calm!
You still want to play the wise guy?
Alright.
Alan, there's a hunting rifle in my desk.
You'll see.
I brought it back from Guyana. A gift from the head of the reserve.
This dart will put an elephant to sleep in 5 seconds.
OK, Alan. Careful, it's loaded.
Keep him at gunpoint.
If he tries to escape, fire at him.
Without a warning shot?
Of course. There's only one dart.
What will you use to put him to sleep?
All the better for me.
Let's continue the interrogation.
First and last name.
What's that?
He's starting to piss me off.
Don't piss me off. You don't want to see me pissed off.
Boss, it must be hard for him to talk with a ball in his mouth.
That's just an excuse. If he wanted to, he'd talk.
Look, boss.
He's trying to say something.
Let him say it. That's all we're asking.
Boss, what if we take the ball out of his mouth?
Not a chance.
Give an arm, he'll take a finger.
That's what this little blackboard is for.
There's a blackboard?
Yeah, have a look.
And there's chalk on a chain.
This allows him to communicate.
Very good.
He'll answer us in writing.
Emilien, write "first and last name".
Boss, he can't talk but he can hear us very well.
Give him the chalk.
But be careful he doesn't bite your leg off.
Go ahead, Emilien.
Slowly.
Very good, Emilien.
PEE
What did he write?
- Pee. - Pee?
That's right.
I understand, but is that his first or last name?
Boss, I think he wants to go to the bathroom.
He's not going anywhere.
That trick "I'll go to the bathroom and run away",
I've seen it a hundred times.
He thinks he'll trick us with such an old stunt.
Are you kidding me?
There must be something prepared for such an eventuality.
Look over there.
Look where?
Emilien, do you know how this works?
Of course. It's kids' play.
This is the drain pipe.
And this one is for cleaning. Simple.
They showed us a training video about new equipment a month ago.
Right, Alan?
Never mind.
Hook him up.
And you keep him at gunpoint!
Try this and tell me what you think.
This stuff is strong. I'm already seeing huge worms.
This connects to the water tap.
And this is placed in the toilet.
Done.
That was easy.
I hooked up the pipes...
Alan, give me that.
I'm sorry, man.
- I wasn't focused. - Then focus a little, Alan.
We're at a police station so you can't go around waving a weapon.
And we have no experience in shooting at bears.
This thing is used to shoot at bears.
You have to be careful in an office.
One finger on the safety catch,
while keeping the weapon close to the body, like this.
My foot.
There's a chair here.
Lay him down.
He weighs as much as a couple of people.
Damn... Look at him.
He looks like he smoked some carpet.
No, it's some stuff for bears.
For bears?
You gave him that.
I didn't give him anything.
No, you morons.
He shot himself with a sleeping dart for bears.
We have to wake him or he'll hibernate for 6 months.
Consider that... 6 months of peace...
And who will sign the vacations?
- Get up! - Wake up!
General alarm!
Where were we?
We were at first and last name.
Have you become as stupid as Gibert?
I'm sorry.
I spend the whole day with him so it's starting to rub off.
Are you OK Belgian? Did you take a leak?
Did you play "white men can't piss"?
That was funny.
"White men can't piss".
OK, enough.
That must have been a big pee. See how his legs have swollen?
But that's not normal.
It should go out the drain pipe.
But water is flowing inwards.
That's not possible.
Water should flow outwards.
Yes, I know.
Maybe you hooked it up wrong.
No, that's not possible. I was extra careful.
I connected the drain pipe to the tap, putting the other pipe in the toilet.
Seems right to me.
Anyway, something's wrong.
I'll go and check.
I messed up again.
I'm such an idiot.
I turned off the water so it should drop.
It's dropping. Look.
Before he had two geysers shooting from his eyes,
and now he has two little disks.
Damn, we need to get him out of there. He'll drown.
Are you sure about this?
He's extremely dangerous. We can't toy with him.
Do you think the death of a Belgian at a French station is something funny?
You're right. That isn't funny.
There must be a way to quickly open this.
See anything?
A button, a lever.
A chain?
No, a handle.
Hurry up. Grab it on your side.
- Ready? - Yeah.
One.
Two.
He doesn't look good.
Let's take off the mask.
You do it.
- Why me? - Go ahead, do it.
This thing is hard to take off.
Do it slowly.
This is funny.
This isn't how I imagined him.
Then how?
I don't know...
With a face like... And teeth like...
And a jaw like...
- Like a monster. - Yeah. Worse.
The biggest killers are the most anonymous.
The better they look, the more careful we are.
Go ahead, wake him.
What are you doing?
I'm being careful.
Sir?
He feels better now.
That's good. I'm glad.
Where am I?
You're at Marseille's main police station.
And you're police officers?
Yes.
We're soon to be chief inspectors.
Soon to be chief inspectors.
- The book? - No, first the flyswatter.
Stop it!
Stop it.
Listen.
This is a regrettable mistake.
And it's not the fault of the French police, but the Belgian one.
It's true.
Mr. Albert Vandenbosh.
Wanted by Interpol for criminal cases in 17 countries.
Memory coming back?
My memory is good and that's the problem.
My name isn't Albert Vandenbosh but Fénimore Eugene Triboulet
and I'm an attaché at the Belgian Embassy.
He thinks we're morons.
1987. Armed robbery on the Paris-Bouche train.
I did not commit any crime.
I'm an attaché.
You're rather attached.
If you think we'll believe your story, then you're very mistaken.
Alan, prepare a report for the boss.
It'll make him happy.
I'll go over to the file.
Write.
Albert Vandenbosh.
Eugene Triboulet, I tell you.
I know that Vandenbosh.
Look at his picture. He has a different face.
He has a moron's face.
Yeah, sure.
Emilien?
Come and see this.
Who is this?
Albert Vandenbosh.
See? I told you.
I won't blame you, it wasn't your fault.
Untie me.
I won't file a complaint and we can forget about this.
Where did you meet Vandenbosh?
I wouldn't say that I met him.
I saw him at the police station in Bruges.
What were you doing at the station in Bruges?
I came to report a robbery.
I was the victim of a carjacking.
A car what?
A carjacking. My Toyota was stolen.
Two guys threw me out of my car and drove off with it.
In Marseille we call that a "Parisian".
In Belgium we say "carjacking".
- Carjacking. - Carjacking.
And then?
I was in the Commissionaire's office, a kind and hospitable man,
when I felt the need to go to the bathroom.
You always feel the need to go pee?
I had some prostate surgery last year.
I'm sorry.
And then?
I was in the bathroom cabin, when I stumbled upon Vandenbosh,
who was taking off this horrible suit.
And then his accomplices jumped on top of me
and forced me to put on this horrible attire.
Of course I tried to defend myself.
But they quickly put the ball in my mouth
and since then I couldn't defend myself.
Do you understand?
You're really good.
But unluckily for you, you've met your match today.
Emilien?
What now?
Can you come and see this?
BELGIAN EMBASSY
FENIMORE EUGENE TRIBOULET CULTURAL ATTACHE
Fénimore Eugene Triboulet.